


Unscratchable Itch

by buzzedbee20



Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: Dethklok - Freeform, Dethklokian Antics, Humor, M/M, Pickles is a Dick, Pranks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-19
Updated: 2012-05-19
Packaged: 2017-11-05 15:21:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/407965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buzzedbee20/pseuds/buzzedbee20
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pickles is high and decides to do a little pranking</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unscratchable Itch

**Author's Note:**

> Pairing: Nathan/Charles, Skwisgaar/Toki   
> Warning: Lube being compromised  
> Rating: PG-13/R  
> Disclaimer: I so have nothing to do with the owning of Dethklok. It makes me sad, really  
> Summary: Pickles likes to pull pranks when he's high  
> A/N: This is something that I could definitely see happening at the 'Haus

Pickles was laughing. Worse than that, the drummer was giggling. And he was high. He was a practical joker by nature, and left to his own devices, there was no telling what he could get up to. 

On this particular occasion, he was sneaking around the ‘haus with an exceptionally large container of itching powder. As klokateers would come down the hallways, he’d hide behind the occasional suit of armor, though not hiding his approach very well. He stumbled into the supply closet, which Charles made sure was fully stocked with everything they could ever need or want, thus cutting down on ‘store visits’.

Stumbling around the small dark room, he managed to stick his hand into something cold, gooey and sticky. Hand still submerged in the foreign substance he found the light switch with his other hand and it was revealed that it was an industrial size jar of lube. An evil grin spread over the drummers face.

 

“Where you goings Skwisgaar?”

He shook his head. “Oh little Tokis. If we’s goings to do dis now, we gots to be doings it right.”

“Ah, but we dos it all the times, Don’ts matter if it hurts a little bit.”

Skwisgaar lead Toki down the hall to where the supply closet was. Going inside without so much as turning on the light he scooped some lube from the jar and examined it. “Hmms. Little itchy. Oh wells.”

“Come on Skwisgaar, races you back!” And with that he disappeared little further down the hall into an empty room, with Skwisgaar on his heels.

 

A couple days later, the supply closet was visited again, this time being unceremoniously busted into by Nathan and Charles, the singer backing his manager into a shelf and kissing him fiercely as he attempted to remove him from his pants.

“Uh, Nathan, it might be a little easier if you undid my belt first.” 

He looked down. “Uh…yeah, right…thanks.” As they continued to get more intense Nathan stopped and turned on the light.

“Hold on. I have to grab something.”

Charles of course assumed it was a condom, and was shocked to see Nathan stick his hand in none other than the ‘community lube’. 

“Oh Nathan, no, that’s so unsanitary, don’t-” but his protests went unanswered as the front man slathered himself with it. “Well great.”

Nathan gave him a contemplative look. “ ‘skinda itchy. Oh well.”

“No, not oh well that could be any-”

“Too late, I wanna fuck you now.” And he proceeded to.

 

*The next day* 

Breakfast was usually a quiet affair, as most of the time, seeing as most of the inhabitants were either hungover, half awake, or both. Today, was different. Toki was anxiously rubbing his butt on his chair, Skwisgaar had his hand is his lap, scratching for dear life. Nathan was more blunt about it, his hand in his pants, while still attempting to eat his cereal with his left hand. It wasn’t working very well. Charles walked in.

“I uh, understand you boys wanted to see me?”

“My asses itchings like ten thousands ants in deres!” Toki whined. “I scratches and scratches, and I scrubs it and it still itchings! What dos I do!”

Pickles looked up from his French toast and smiled.

“Yeah, last times me and Toki does it, den we gets all itchings and don’ts know how to makes it stop!”

Pickles began to chuckle.

He looked to Nathan. “Yeah, after me and you…you know, my dick’s been itching more than that time I had crabs and that’s saying something because it itched…a lot.”  
Now Pickles was trying not to choke on his orange juice as he listened to the stories.

“Yes, I understand your sentiments boys and I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do but suffer until the itching wears off. It seems that someone has tampered with the lubricant in the supply closet. It has been replaced, but from now on Pickles, I’d like you to discontinue wandering the halls when you’re so high you don’t remember your own name.”

Caught, Pickles complied. “Yeh, sure dood. I’m sorry I made all you guys asses itchy. Especially you dere, chief.” He said insincerely while giggling. Still.

Oh he’d be sorry; Charles would make sure of that. He stopped by the drummer’s room on the way back to his office, to make sure that his bed, toilet seat and paper had been liberally dusted with the same powder that was now making his life hell.


End file.
